Poor communication is bad for your health. Not only does poor communication affect the health of many teams, it also contributes to the stress of millions of Americans. Whether you are a child learning to find the right words to express emotion, a student giving a class speech, or a teacher giving a co-worker feedback, the inability to communicate effectively can generate unhealthy levels of stress. To combat the stress related to poor communication we recommend the following tips for you and your teams.
Tip #1: Avoid MSU – In Mike’s last post, he described a little bit about how people play in the world of MSU when public speaking. MSU is the result of individuals lacking the right information and/or knowledge when dealing with a particular challenge or situation. When faced with the unknown, individuals Make Stuff Up. When people play in the world of MSU, they waste time worrying about what others are thinking. For example, you see someone roll her eyes at something you said, then begin to assume—incorrectly—what she was thinking. You don’t know for sure why she rolled her eyes unless she tells you. You’re just making stuff up, which can later get in the way of successful communication. Making assumptions and excuses creates unwarranted and unwanted stress and can be avoided with proper inquiry skills.
Tip #2: Seek Clarity – One of the best ways to avoid stress in your interactions with others is by seeking clarity around what the other person is saying. You can demonstrate a willingness to listen to the other person’s point of view by simply asking a question like, “I am not sure what you mean, could you clarify your point a little more?” This technique will help reduce stress by increasing your level of understanding and the understanding of those around you. You’ll also avoid running into MSU.
Tip #3: Be Present & In the Moment – Being present communicates that you value that person and what she has to say. This can be a challenge when you go from class to class and your “in-box” is filling up with stuff you “have to do” after work (which of course cuts into quality home time). The best way to bring yourself into the moment is to become aware of your breathing. Before meeting with someone, take a few deep breathes and clear your mind of any distractions. This awareness helps you experience the “here and now,” and will help you focus on what the other person is saying.
Tip #4: Be Mindful – An important aspect of communication is recognizing that it’s not always what you say, but how you say it that creates potential stress and conflict. A key rule to remember is that the response you get from someone is based upon the message you send. Be mindful of your body language and tone when you communicate. If you can align your words with your tone and actions, in a positive way, you will notice how much more effectively you can establish and maintain a healthy rapport with the people around you.
Tip #5: Smile – Our final tip is a simple one. The simple act of putting a smile on your face will do wonders in changing how you feel. A smile can also be contagious, so smile often.
Here’s to good health through good communication!
Keywords: communication, relationship skills, stress management, leadership, conflict resolution, active listening
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